


Scattered Hearts

by ayyyez



Category: Naruto
Genre: A lot of feels, Angst, Blowjobs, Consensual, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Sex, Smut, neji POV, third person, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 05:42:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15163919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayyyez/pseuds/ayyyez
Summary: She and Neji were once together but love doesn't always work out. They opened their hearts to each other only to have them shatter. Even though he promises it's the last time, Neji finds himself at her doorstep once again  and falling back into her arms. A story from a never ending cycle of broken hearts.Story is also posted on my Tumblr: http://ayyyez.tumblr.com feel free to check it out!





	Scattered Hearts

It’s late at night, the air cool and the streets abandoned when Neji Hyuga finds himself wandering the familiar path through Konoha and toward the house he vowed never to stray to again. The morning had brought a newfound determination, a promise that this time he would stay far away but then the evening came and drew him from the safety of his home, beckoning him like a siren’s call. And Neji found he could not deny the calling, his heart begging to be released from loneliness. The sprouting bud of determination now buries itself behind the darkness of his resolve and wilts as no more than a passing thought.

The stones along the path crunch beneath his sandals, his body moving in a trance, numb to all the commands telling him to stop. His gaze fixes on the sprinkle of stars above, scattered across the night sky, beautiful but out of reach. Then his eyes catch the moon, full and beaming down through the night as it lights up the path in front of him like a beacon. 

Perhaps it’s foolish, Neji has never believed in signs but he takes this one as concession to continue because in this moment the path is lit up for him and him alone. Even if he wanted to turn back, he couldn’t. The heavy heart in his chest needs to be sedated from reality and he can settle for it being soothed by the one who teared it open in the first place.

Neji takes a shaky breath as he reaches his destination.

The building has two stories with a sliding front door and a small balcony above which looks out over the village. With the wind blowing, Neji’s senses are overcome with the aroma of spring flowers, an allusion to the sweetness he continues to crave despite it concealing itself from his grasp. The feeling as a whole is a paradox; a nightshade of emotional comfort, for the flower blooms and the scent beckons but once picked it always ends in withering away. 

Balling his fist, he hesitates for a moment then knocks on the front door. He cringes at this and lets out a heavy sigh then hears muffled sounds of footsteps approaching the door. He knows there is no going back tonight, there never really was a chance of stopping in the first place. It’s just how things are with them.

He waits outside, listening to the soft thuds grow closer until silence falls. Despite the weeks growing warmer there’s a chill in the air, blowing just enough to push stray hairs across Neji’s face. It tickles his nose, irritating him enough to brush it away. Footfalls return from inside, approaching closer and eventually the wooden framework of the door rattles as it slides open. 

A familiar face appears through the opening gap and pushes through to reveal blinking eyes, fresh from slumber. They instantly catch his and Neji has to divert his gaze away. 

‘Neji,’ she whispers sleepily, ‘is everything alright?’ 

All he can do is nod, a darkness filling the hollow in his chest and causing an overwhelming itch to surface in his throat. His fingers twitch at the thought but before he moves, her hand finds his cheek and caresses it innocuously. There’s a hitch in his breath. Her touch is not heavy but the intent of the action weighs like a stone and all too soon he sinks into the moment. 

After they had decided to part ways, to end their relationship for good, Neji had evaded most contact. He had almost succeeded in maintaining his distance when she announced that they should continue on with their lives separately, leaving their time together in the past and heal. But his life soon filled with emptiness and he couldn’t stand the crippling loneliness that came without her touch. 

The first time they caved was in her bedroom. It only had one lamp at the time and the sorrow in her expression seemed to fade from uncertainty to want, every shadow of doubt cast on her face was contrasted with the soft light. Neji had resigned himself to the fact that the first slip up was a one time thing only, even if he couldn’t quite convince himself that he didn’t want it to happen again. 

And it continued to happen, frequently. Neji just couldn’t stop himself and she would never turn him away. 

Tonight is no different and when he finally looks up into her eyes, Neji feels the never ending cycle repeat. There’s still affection reflected in them, a reserved kindness he knows she only holds for him. No one else has what they do and this fact alone is enough for her to step aside, to invite him into her home and embrace, something he knew wasn’t his to take anymore but which he takes anyway. 

The shutting of the door becomes an afterthought when his mouth is on hers. It’s welcome but reluctant as his hands clutch at her night gown, feeling for the familiar curves of her body, fingers clutching the silky fabric. The actions are desperate, a reflection of his vulnerability in the face of broken intimacy. 

Neji moans into the kiss, drowning out the waves of nausea within. His guilt fights to remain in the forefront of his mind, attempting to stop his body from fulfilling the actions of his deepest desires. He ignores the internal pleas because all he can bring himself to do is cease kissing her, lips still ghosting her’s but their bodies remaining loosely intwined. 

She regards him with a concerned expression before she drags her gaze to something beyond him and frowns, presumably mulling the situation over in her head. He doesn’t want to ask, afraid to even interrupt. Instead, he contents himself by tightening the grip on her waist, feeling the fabric glide through his fingers. Neji can feel her hair, which had fallen down the front of her shoulders, tickling his arms. She reaches out and brushes the strands away from his upper arms and lets her fingers linger. 

There’s a pause, a halt in their breath as she slowly drags her fingertips up his arm and the neckline of his white shirt, pushing to feel more skin. The outline of his his collar bone gets exposed and in a rehearsed motion, pushes into her touch. She brushes her bottom lip over his parted ones then retreats just as quickly. Their gazes catch and she rubs the pads of her fingers down on his shoulder.

‘I’m sorry.’ Neji whispers and their lips connect again, this time with fervour. The longing they both hold is cemented but it doesn’t make it a sealed deal. 

She returns his kiss then breaks apart with a sigh, light but not completely weightless, her eyes asking _‘Are you okay?’_ before beginning again, anew, with a kiss, his own lips responding with a desperate plea, ‘ _Tell me you want this too.’_ A pitiful shudder of his body when she slides her tongue against his; a nudge in the right direction but not quite the reply he needs to be free of guilt, at least for the moment.

His chest feels heavy and he swallows reflexively; he dips his head forward and let’s his lips travel down her neck slowly, his fingertips gliding along the silken gown and she arches into his touch, her breathing responding _‘yes i want this, i want you too.’_  

It’s strange how all the unresolved tension between them that’s built up-and-up since their separation always seems to come stumbling down in this one act as he breathes out in relief. They can hear a gush of wind as it blows against the paper of the door. 

_I want to do things to you._

It’s a thought always on his mind when in her presence. It’s always been this way and it seems she is thinking the same thing because the next thing he knows she is on her knees and unbuckling his pants. The actions are not gentle or coy but desperate and necessary because there is only so much intimacy they can bear between them until it becomes too painful.

It’s a not a sloppy blowjob but the eagerness is there in how quickly she takes in Neji’s cock; it’s there in how she almost chokes deep throating him a second time and how she accidentally scrapes her teeth along the shaft in the process and how she settles her cold hands on the exposed flesh of his hipbones while hastily running her tongue beneath the shaft without fault or pause.

But Neji can’t protest as he falls deeper into the moment with a hiss and groan and he bucks deeper into that warm heat, swallowed around those beautiful lips. It’s enough to make his lungs constrict, his breathing coming out in fast, hard puffs. The familiar pressure builds inside of his abdomen and it’ll be over way too fast but he can’t stop himself from gripping her hair and coaxing her to finish. His head is falling back against the wall, mouth agape, chest heaving and sinking when the familiar jolt of pleasure comes forth and he gets caught up in his orgasm. 

He wants to pull her head away given their circumstances but he can’t bring himself to move as the aftermath of his orgasm runs throughout his body. His legs are shaking; the energy of the night not having worn off in the slightest. 

Adrenalin still courses through his veins as he watches her standing, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. He practically shoves her against the entryway and he tastes his own aftermath on her mouth but it doesn’t stop him from swiping his tongue along her lower lip and fumble to get his hands underneath her nightgown and onto the naked soft skin beneath. 

His loose ponytail is a messy afterthought as she yanks the hair tie free causing some strands to stick to the sweat perspiring from his neck. She pushes back into his touch eagerly, grinds their hips together, brushing against his sensitive cock in the process, causing him to groan lowly into his lover’s mouth. His fingers press down and grab her backside, pleasantly surprised to find she is without hindering undergarments. Kneading the flesh in a tight grip he imagines the prints on her skin and bucks up against her.

‘We are beyond teasing.’ She murmurs against his mouth, hands sliding around his neck. It doesn’t need to be said what she’s begging for, it’s clear in how urgently she tries to get closer to Neji and how quick, almost hurried, her actions are when touching him. 

He’s panting, lips tingling from the kissing and fingers trembling underneath her nightgown. She is in no better state, catching her breath while her gaze remains pinned to his. Neji wants to soak up every little detail because this is the only person he has every loved, the woman he broke his own heart for, the one who despite his avoidance and hesitation, he opened his whole self too. He rubs his hands up and down her sides, palms printed into the skin—skin that served as a reminder of what could have been.

‘Bedroom.’ She murmurs, looking up at him defiantly—and he remembers the first time he had dragged himself back to her after their separation and how she had first given him that look of, not disdain but something that resembled feelings of a bittersweet nature.

Hands come to pull at his shirt, trying to get it over and off of him and he lifts his arms to oblige. He reciprocates by tugging the nuisance nightgown off her body then pressing an open-mouthed kiss to her lips, grinds his erection against her wet heat. Something raises in the back of his mind: their shared bed, her spread out on the mattress, tangled in sheets while he stood over her, in complete awe at her naked skin. Neji ghosts his lips over her cheek then pulls away, takes her hand and leads them upstairs.

Once they reach the bedroom there is no time wasted. This time she is pulling him in for a heated kiss as they let their bodies fall onto the mattress they have made love against too many times to count. A thought, though brief, crossed Neji’s mind that perhaps this time would be the last.

These thoughts dissolve, disappearing the instant his body falls flush against hers, rocking and grinding as a feeble attempt to make the pain go away. His hands find her breasts, grabbing and kneading the soft flesh, fingertips ghosting over her sensitive nipples. But she isn’t in want of teasing but rather something more direct which she makes clear with a few forceful bucks of her hips. Neji holds back a smile at seeing her fiery stare, lips almost pouting, because that look isn’t for his enjoyment anymore. 

His hands quickly move south, down the familiar path of her curvaceous figure until they find her clit. There’s a hitch in her breath and her thighs tremble beneath him. Using two fingers, Neji circles her clit increasing in pressure and speed until she is moaning loud enough for his liking. Then he pushes his index finger through her entrance, already wet and waiting and begins working to get her ready. Once she seems adjusted he adds another finger and it’s not long before she’s pushing down against him begging for more. 

Removing his fingers, Neji wipes them on the sheets below and crawls on top of her. She spreads her legs to invite him closer and he pushes only the head of his cock into her and then much slower, the rest of his cock, committing every movement, every sigh, every little gasp between them to his memory. And then he’s filled her to the hilt, one hand lifting her thigh while the other sits beside her head. They stare at each other, gazes flitting between eyes and flushed cheeks and all the negative emotions Neji once saw reflected in her eyes vanish, instead he is met with an overwhelming feeling of affection. 

His breath hitches, the sudden urge to tell her, like he has a thousand times before creeps up inside his throat, the three words sit on his tongue but are left unsaid. It was one of the many unspoken rules between them and they had to act and speak in a certain way if they were to come out of this unscathed. 

A single nod from her breaks the moment and he knows it’s time to move. 

It’s in these moments that Neji has never felt lighter in his life. His heart fills his entire being as he drags his mouth along her jaw and to her mouth to kiss her hard, fierce as he thrusts into her with growing force. His skin is on fire and every nerve in his body is blazing, as if her fingertips have ignited each of his chakra points; he can feel the sweaty insides of her thighs sliding over his flanks, can feel her hands touch his back and his neck and his cheeks. She caresses him just like she used to—without doubt or uncertainty.

Neji feels he won’t last long, too oversensitive from that blowjob, not nearly enough endurance from their time apart, her body against his is too hot, too everything and the heat only stacks up to his impending orgasm. He reaches a hand down to her clit trying to edge along her own pleasure to which she responds with a string of moans. His fingers curl reflexively against the pillow and his balls clench and his thighs tremble as he tries, with everything he has, to snapshot the moment and lock it away in his mind before he cums inside her. 

Neji slouches over her for a moment, feeling her body spasm beneath him and her own orgasm shake throughout her body. He lets himself fall gently on top of her, burying his face in her neck, taking in her sweet scent. He tries to indulge in the moment without fear or worry but it’s useless. The moment is gone all too quickly. 

Pushing himself up Neji places one last kiss to her collar bone, lips lingering for an extra second before lifting himself off the bed completely. A quick survey of the room reminds him of the earlier moments in the evening when they hastily shed his clothes downstairs in the entryway. 

‘Forgive me.’ Neji whispers, chancing a glance back at her, broken hearted on the bed before quickly leaving the room. 

Returning downstairs he retrieves his clothes, pulling them on without care but haste, an overwhelming feeling of hurt rising in his chest at his own shattered heart, threatening to push to the surface. And pulling on the last piece of clothing Neji feels his chest constrict, his breathing shallow as he pulls open the door and leaves. 

Pulling a hand to clutch his chest, he walks back down the familiar path home finding it darker than it was earlier, the moon no longer serving as a beacon. The pain in his chest continues to rise and splinter to his throat, catching there as he continues to walk. The aftermath of the moment finally settling in Neji forces himself not to look back, promising once again that this was the last time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Misashi Kishimoto and SP! I only use them for entertainment purposes and enjoyment of fans.


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